snow

When Facebook Fails You

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facebook

March 13th was a miserable day for many people. First, for many of us across much of the USA, we had to deal with cancelled flights to far-off destinations, too many inches of snow, and blizzard conditions that kept us from skinny-dipping at our favorite lakes.

To top it all off — Facebook decided to destroy our lives.

Our self-esteem shattered like the remains of a china shop when Ferdinand the Bull went through it. I mean, after all, how in the world could Mark Zuckerberg live with himself knowing that 97% of the world’s population lay awake in the wee hours of their night and day bemoaning the fact that FB was almost totally inaccessible?

We moaned, we cried, we lamented the boringness of life without FB. We muttered at our screens and decided that we would petition Congress to hold Mark Z accountable.

Less than 24 hours later, some people are still cut off from the real Facebook world. Their lives are shredded beyond belief. Young and old alike are already learning how hard life is when you are not able to post a new picture or video of their pet eating yellow snow, their baby staring incredulously at Dad dancing to the whimsical strains of “Baby Shark, doo-doo-doo-do”, or a picture of a half-eaten burger from In-N-Out informing the world of how much better it is than Whataburger.


As the saying goes, one must strike while the hay is on fire or make irons while it is hot. Whatever — but first, a brief caveat.

If you have never been on Facegram or Instabook and/or are able to make it through massively extended periods of time (like say 5–10 minutes) without putting something on a social media platform, then this helpful solution is NOT for you. Just go away and read your newspaper, stand up to change channels on your massive console TV box, or whatever else it is that you boring people do with your lives.

With that caveat out in the open, I am proud to announce that I am starting a new self-help club, organization, fraternity, or whatever word you prefer to use.

Extended drumroll — ok, that’s enough. May I present —

Facebookers Anonymous for Life Associations without Life Ambitions (or FA-LA-LA for short)

Don’t worry, FA-LA-LA is totally anonymous and is designed so you never have to admit to the world that you are an addict. The price is within the reach of everybody with only one low recurring price of $9.95 per month (payable in Yen, Euros, Dollars, Pesos, Shekels, or Bitcoin once every two weeks). You too can be a part of FA-LA-LA where we dance to our own tunes and demand immediate action from Mark Z.

The entry process is simple. Just submit your name, birthday, personal email address, GPS coordinates for your local Gold’s Gym (you know the one you never use but still pay for), blood type, and type of bicycle you are supposed to ride but leave in the garage AND we assure you that you will remain an anonymous member of FA-LA-LA. Each month you will receive a personalized newsletter in which we distribute the details of each new member so you can greet them in a personalized, non-agressive-passive, anonymous type of way.

You will also find options that will never allow you to opt out of unwanted spam mails petitioning you for more money to fight the corporate giants that would make dastardly attempts to keep you from posting more of your life out in the open each and every five minutes of your life.

Don’t delay. Act now before more precious minutes go to waste away from the watchful eyes of Mark Z and his nefarious tribe.

Extolling the virtues of Facebook one post at a time,

The Executive Committee of FA-LA-LA

PS — It is our intention to share more of the benefits of joining our exclusive yet totally open anonymous club, but my wife keeps reminding me that FB is operating as normal again. At least for today or this week. Back later.

The Long Winter

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winter

Freezing breath

Battle strife

Cold as death

Frozen life

Trees all bare

Hidden treasure

None to care

Empty measure

Glistening snow

No warmth the sun

While winds blow

New life doth shun

Change will come

When rivers rage

No longer dumb

Spring’s new age.

Writers and Blogs

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Here is a helpful blog that I learned of from my friend, J.L. Pattison.

blogging

It is a how to for beginners. Personally, I have been blogging for 8-9 years now, but it is still helpful to read the ideas others have.

So, enjoy today and I hope you can learn some new tips on what has become a very snowy Monday morning in Wyoming.

Anne R. Allen How To Blog

 

An Avalanche Needs Snow

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I went for undergrad training at a college in the upper part of Wisconsin. Every year, this region of the US is an area that gets snow. Lots of snow. No, I mean LOTS of snow. Other areas speak of 3-4″, but in the Upper Midwest their references are 5-6′ and anything less is, well, just not much of a winter, eh?

During my first winter, I was introduced to a wonderful machine made by Toro called a snowblower. However, I had already heard about this incredible machine’s ability from some of my classmates who were from that part of the country. When we would be given an assignment, some of them would mutter to me, “Time to Toro the Teacher.” I learned quickly that what they meant was use your writing skills to throw as much “literary snow” at the teacher as you can. Because “enough should stick to give you a decent grade.”

An interesting thing about lots of snow, particularly in mountainous regions, is that it has the ability to make for nice winter sports. You can go snowmobiling or skiing or even ice skating on a frozen pond. “Anybody want to build a snowman?” Sorry, I have two girls and I digressed for a moment. LOL

When you have lots of snow though, there is the danger of what are called avalanches. An avalanche is when some kind of trigger (movement, sound waves, etc.) breaks the snow pack and it begins to slide down the mountain. It moves rapidly and tends to engulf anything in its path. Every year, avalanches take the lives of people. They are dangerous.

Now, all of that to say, that you cannot have an avalanche if you do not have snow. You cannot hope to get a passing grade if you do not produce some snow for the teacher. Some days you may do a lot of Toro work and have little to show for it at the end of the day. At other times, you may start to shovel the snow onto your paper and you will have the makings of a masterpiece. However, whether it is only a little bit of snow that falls or a massive amount of snow, you need something in order to use the Toro. And, when your snow pack fills that first mountainous page, you will find that it may well have started an avalanche of words that spill over into two pages, then three, and then an entire chapter.

But, you must remember – An Avalanche Needs Snow!

avalanche

Quote HT: Nancy Haddock